Regret

Regret

I have gazed at pictures of my face with closed eyes,

Sometimes I stare at the photographs, I don’t recognise myself,

Not the quirky smile, the slight overbite of my jaw,

I stare into those foreign smitten eyes, who was she before?

I’ve dug out the memories, read the heartfelt ink,

I’ve leant against material, cried for the longing of her softness,

I remember planets where we’d be without sorrow,

We’d embrace in the comfort of safety into the tomorrows..

 

It doesn’t feel familiar, it seems a lifetime away,

I guess my decision was a mistake, one I will forever regret,

I’ve stared into the darkness, carried through dimensions to before,

Where I’d have instead had the courage and walked through your door..

 

I have stared at my hands, oh the way they would entwine,

Laced up and a perfect fit, we’d skip carelessly a far,

I would beacon your soft lips for that ever magic kiss,

Somehow with you I was fearless..

 

The images imprinted in my heart I will never forget,

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet,

Let the shards fly, sink into my skin cause,

My heart so very broken, where mended it once was..

 

The day I turned and walked away I will forever regret,

For when I look back I remember just how much we shared,

And I will forever be in love,

Until the last petal falls from my white rose..

 

Grandad...

My Grandfather often read this to me when he was in hospital. I've no idea who wrote it or where he got it from but it's one of the poems that has stayed with me since he first read it to me...

There is nothing the matter with me,
I'm as healthy as I can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk - I talk with a wheeze,
My pulse is weak and my blood is thin,
But I'm very well for the shape I'm in,
Arch supports I have for my feet,
Or I wouldn't be able to be out on the street,
Sleep is denied me night after night,
My memory us failing my heads in a spin,...
But I'm awfully well for the shape I am in.

 

The moral to this as I take my unfold,
That for you and for me who are now getting old,
It's better to say I'm fine with a grin,
Than to let folks know the shape we are in.
Old age is golden I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed,
With my ears in a drawer my teeth in a cup,
My specs on the table until I get up,
Ere sleep overtakes me I say to myself,
Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?

 

When I was young my slippers were red,
I could kick up my heels right over my head,
When I was older my slippers were blue,
But I could still dance the whole night through,
Now I am old my slippers are black,
I walk to the shop and puff my way back,
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
And pick up the paper to read the obits,
If my name is still missing I know I'm not dead,
And so I have my breakfast and go back to bed...

Dad...

Dad...

 

Not a thought for a thanks, not a card or hello,
Is how we were some years ago,

Conversed with anger hurt both alike,
When it came to us both we'd generally fight,

But time is a healer I know this is true,
Because our unspoken barrier we've broken through,

Not forgetting what's happened but the pasts in the past,
And I'm hoping this new bond forever will last,

You've been there this last year and...

seen me through,
You've been there financially and emotionally too,

You've been a shoulder to cry on a drunk hand to hold,
You've offered me shelter away from the cold,

You've defended my corner and picked me up when down,
You've tried never ending to get me to smile and not frown,

For this I must thank you for forgetting the bad,
And for breaking the barrier and being my dad

Lavanda

Lavanda

The groom stood by his solemn bride before the Barry preacher,
Angelic hosts has gathered close to notice every feature,
The tall man stood in suit of blue the short bride dressed in white,
He looked upon with loving eyes the prettiest girl in sight

Every eye beheld the pair as they took each others hands,
Exchanging one and others love with inexpensive bands,
The vows were said I do I do you may now kiss the bride,
No earthly words could dare express the joy they felt inside

She thanked him for the happiness he'd brought into her life,
The smile of joy upon his face showed his pride to call her wife,
And although distant the child had seemed it wasn't painted blue,
And to say that she was not best pleased was most certainly untrue

Their adventurous past where closeness grew she knew her mother well,
And could clearly see that from day one she was caught under his spell,
A best friends bond you can't detach no matter what occurs,
So he understood that his wife was his for 99% but that 1% was hers

Her mother meant a lot to her she held her close at heart,
Which is why she treaded carefully and was weary at the start,
I wanted to tell you on this day how much you mean to me,
And to welcome you with open arms into the family

nos da (welsh)

Mae'r heulwen distaw 'di troi eu phen,
A ma'r nos ddu a'r lleuad yn awr yn y nen,
Mae'r mor yn llyfn a bu'r traeth dan yr glesni, 
Mae'r byd yn tawelwch ac yn rhydd o fusnesi,
Mae ser y nos yn goleuo'r byd,
Yn dennu cariadon o hyd ac o hyd,
Mae plant yn yr gwely yn cysgu yn dlos,
Gan fod amser yn hwyr ac yn awr mae hi'n nos,
Felly bryd I ni dwad a farwelio tara,
Mae'n amser I gysgu, mae'n amser nos da

Infinitely

When I gaze into your eyes,
I see dazzling stars and butterflies,
And when your hand entwined with mine,
I feel a warmth that's deep and fine,
How can I reason with a heart that beats so,
How can I control the emotions and stop their flow,
Tell me why it is I want you near,
Is this all real, is it sincere?
You're always there when I need you,
I hope you know I'm there for you too,
I begged my heart not to love you but it did so,
And I can not say what will become of tomorrow,
But I know for sure that it's awfully true,
That my heart was given and sworn to you,
So take good care of it, I never want it back,
For a heart that's not beating turns to black,
A shell is what's left, empty without you,
And in due time I know there'll be someone new,
I'll watch you happy, smile and be brave,
Before slipping away softly into my grave,
For a love this strong can not be mended,
Therefore I'll pass on my wishes and have it all ended,
No more pain or sorrow if it can not be felt,
No fixing feelings that can not be helped,
But know this forever because forever it will remain,
That I love you dearly and I will always feel the same

it'll be ok

Rest your head and close your eyes,
Everything will be ok,
For when you wake,
It will be a brand new day,
Turn off the lights and hold me close,
Feel the beating of our hearts as we lay,
For when you wake,
It will be a brand new day,
Relax and let down your hair,
Let all of your worries melt away,
For when your eyes open,
It will be a brand new day,
Fall fast asleep and dream with me,
Whisper 'I love you I'm here to stay',
For when we wake in eachothers arms,
It will be a brand new day

Farewell

Goodbyes aren't always easy, in fact they're not at all,
But they lead us to another life after we've struggled with a fall,
Decisions aren't fair either when choosing the rihht path to follow,
Especially when a life like mine has been left feeling empty and hollow,
I've always followed my heart to the very last string,
But to listen to a shattered heart of which you are belonhing?
No matter my decision I love you abd always will be in,
I'll not want to find another no matter how much you will,
But I understand your weary soul may not wish for me,
So i've stepped back and let you live unwillingly,
I've mustered tries from every angle to get you to want to love again,
But no matter my wants to hold you as mine you've not been the same since then,
You may return to see my things but please do not be fooled,
I've no need for such materials, I've no need for food,
The day you broke out from my life you left a gaping hole,
Where you were once belonging to my very soul,
No other can compete to the way that I love you,
There will be no one past, prescent or new,
Because no matter how or when you feel or wherever you may be,
It's you that I'm in love with so I'm screwed quite frankly,
I have to learn to think with my head which is something I've never done,
And I fear this new thinking will mean that I'll be gone,
Because loving you is one thing but seeing you every day,
Without a touch or whisper I'm better miles away,
You'll be in my thoughts daily as you will at night,
And your ever growing happiness I hope to bring some delight,
My wary heart grows weaker and the tears are harder to prevent,
Although for the reasoning I know they are well spent,
Goodbyes aren't always easy however great or small,
And will this time be much harder given I'm in love with you after all 

Solidarity

I do not love her,
To say it it's a lie,
But in the eyes of her solidarity,
She will never be mine,
It's a hard fight to cope with,
And for me you'd think a sinch,
But there's only so much punches,
My weary heart can take,
I'm fed up of fighting,
Being kicked to the curb,
And always forcing smiles,
Enough with the I'm ok's,
Enough with the lies,
Every day I struggle, 
A knife, a lake, a bridge,
What difference will it make?
I'm always left alone,
No frirnds, no heart, no home, 
It's always taken from me,
And every time I fight,
But I'm done fighting,
Because I always end up in the same place,
Empty, alone, unwanted, unloved,
Why must when it's all wrong?
You'll only be lied to for satisfaction,
Until the curtain is finally called
It's all a lie,
This happiness, 
It's only momentary,
It doesn't last,
It just leads to misery,
Leads to regretting the past,
Your life even,
Makes you wonder why you're here,
Because it's pointless,
Because it hurts,
Because it is,
So no I won't be ok,
No I won't go on,
Because I'm done fighting

USWSU

What, oh what does USWSU do?
If you haven't heard of us before,
you might not have a clue.
We help you with your education
And welfare issues too.
The bottom line is
We're here to represent you.
From sports and societies
Club and activities
Pop into the office to find out more
And you can grab a McVities
You can also get involved
In our student council elections
Or visit our ideas factory
And make business out of your inventions.
We represent all students
Female, male, LGBT
We'll make your student life great
At this South Wales University

The Fortress

The Fortress

The early risers march out of bed,
Preparations beginning,  they're donning the red,
Gathering together watching hours pass,
Until the time comes for the bus at last,
No weary traveller is ever alone,
When at the fortress the place we call home,
Game faces on, no mercy to be shed,
There are battles awaiting, blood to be bled,
Music is blaring, mentally in tune,
No word spoken, it all begins soon,
Warriors unite, arm in arm they wait,
Whilst they listen to their leader share stories of the great,
The refs whistle becons the war,
The sound of thunder as the coin hits the floor,
The crowd chant and urge their team onward,
There's no turning back, there's no going backward,
So the question remains.. what will you do?
Will you protect our fortress at USW?