Regret

Regret

I have gazed at pictures of my face with closed eyes,

Sometimes I stare at the photographs, I don’t recognise myself,

Not the quirky smile, the slight overbite of my jaw,

I stare into those foreign smitten eyes, who was she before?

I’ve dug out the memories, read the heartfelt ink,

I’ve leant against material, cried for the longing of her softness,

I remember planets where we’d be without sorrow,

We’d embrace in the comfort of safety into the tomorrows..

 

It doesn’t feel familiar, it seems a lifetime away,

I guess my decision was a mistake, one I will forever regret,

I’ve stared into the darkness, carried through dimensions to before,

Where I’d have instead had the courage and walked through your door..

 

I have stared at my hands, oh the way they would entwine,

Laced up and a perfect fit, we’d skip carelessly a far,

I would beacon your soft lips for that ever magic kiss,

Somehow with you I was fearless..

 

The images imprinted in my heart I will never forget,

A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet,

Let the shards fly, sink into my skin cause,

My heart so very broken, where mended it once was..

 

The day I turned and walked away I will forever regret,

For when I look back I remember just how much we shared,

And I will forever be in love,

Until the last petal falls from my white rose..

 

Grandad...

My Grandfather often read this to me when he was in hospital. I've no idea who wrote it or where he got it from but it's one of the poems that has stayed with me since he first read it to me...

There is nothing the matter with me,
I'm as healthy as I can be,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk - I talk with a wheeze,
My pulse is weak and my blood is thin,
But I'm very well for the shape I'm in,
Arch supports I have for my feet,
Or I wouldn't be able to be out on the street,
Sleep is denied me night after night,
My memory us failing my heads in a spin,...
But I'm awfully well for the shape I am in.

 

The moral to this as I take my unfold,
That for you and for me who are now getting old,
It's better to say I'm fine with a grin,
Than to let folks know the shape we are in.
Old age is golden I've heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed,
With my ears in a drawer my teeth in a cup,
My specs on the table until I get up,
Ere sleep overtakes me I say to myself,
Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf?

 

When I was young my slippers were red,
I could kick up my heels right over my head,
When I was older my slippers were blue,
But I could still dance the whole night through,
Now I am old my slippers are black,
I walk to the shop and puff my way back,
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
And pick up the paper to read the obits,
If my name is still missing I know I'm not dead,
And so I have my breakfast and go back to bed...

Dad...

Dad...

 

Not a thought for a thanks, not a card or hello,
Is how we were some years ago,

Conversed with anger hurt both alike,
When it came to us both we'd generally fight,

But time is a healer I know this is true,
Because our unspoken barrier we've broken through,

Not forgetting what's happened but the pasts in the past,
And I'm hoping this new bond forever will last,

You've been there this last year and...

seen me through,
You've been there financially and emotionally too,

You've been a shoulder to cry on a drunk hand to hold,
You've offered me shelter away from the cold,

You've defended my corner and picked me up when down,
You've tried never ending to get me to smile and not frown,

For this I must thank you for forgetting the bad,
And for breaking the barrier and being my dad

Lavanda

Lavanda

The groom stood by his solemn bride before the Barry preacher,
Angelic hosts has gathered close to notice every feature,
The tall man stood in suit of blue the short bride dressed in white,
He looked upon with loving eyes the prettiest girl in sight

Every eye beheld the pair as they took each others hands,
Exchanging one and others love with inexpensive bands,
The vows were said I do I do you may now kiss the bride,
No earthly words could dare express the joy they felt inside

She thanked him for the happiness he'd brought into her life,
The smile of joy upon his face showed his pride to call her wife,
And although distant the child had seemed it wasn't painted blue,
And to say that she was not best pleased was most certainly untrue

Their adventurous past where closeness grew she knew her mother well,
And could clearly see that from day one she was caught under his spell,
A best friends bond you can't detach no matter what occurs,
So he understood that his wife was his for 99% but that 1% was hers

Her mother meant a lot to her she held her close at heart,
Which is why she treaded carefully and was weary at the start,
I wanted to tell you on this day how much you mean to me,
And to welcome you with open arms into the family